Have you seen the trailers for Colossal? Look like a funny little lark about how a woman (Anne Hathaway as Gloria) in small-town America has a huge monster avatar that’s destroying Seoul, South Korea? Yeah… it’s not. That is, about 90 minutes of it is not fun – about twenty of it is an amusing and imaginative monster movie. The rest is a mess of a dark tale of an abusive, manipulative asshole bar owner (Jason Sudeikis) who tries to control Gloria, his childhood secret love/friend who’s recently returned to their hometown.
Gloria is back in town since her Brit boyfriend (the suddenly ubiquitous Dan Stevens) boots her out after yet another night of drinking and making bad decisions. Little does Gloria know that her recent return will also summon her kaiju alter ego. After one last night of drunken misbehaving, Gloria stumbles, falls in the magical playground and kills hundreds across the globe as the colossal monster does the same on top of Seoul. Thing is, we don’t so much care because we never really connect with these characters. It may be because they’re not very likable (my vote) or that they aren’t well-developed (oh this too) or that Colossal is just a major downer (and that). Or D. All of the above.
Really, really short review remains: Too much suckage, not enough fun.